One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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what did the blond do when her house was on fire? she called the fire department, because that would be the correct thing to do in such a situation.

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What's the capital of Hungary? Thirtsy

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

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Why was David sad? Because he got his head stuck in a window.

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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How many blondes does it take to skrew in a lightbulb? Usually just one.

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Why was the boy sad? Because He had a frog stapled to his face

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What do you call a blond reading a book? A blond reading a book.

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Your mom is so poor she can't afford to buy herself nice things.

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

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Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

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nothing

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So, theoretically, if we controlled the media, what would be different then?

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Why did the black guy cross the road? His car was parked across the street.

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Your momma is so fat because she ate alot!

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Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny?

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? It would probably be the court janitor who was responsible for that job, rather than the lawyers.

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what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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