Roses are red, violets are blue. You're dog is dead. And so is your family.

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Q: why did the train not make it to the station? A: it crashed and killed everybody on board.

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What do you put in a toaster? Toast, oh wait, it's bread

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What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

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my uncle used to tickle me.. he's in prison for child abuse

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-Knock Knock ~Who's there? -It's your mother ~Go away

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

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Knock Knock WHO'S THERE?????!!! y u mad? u have been knocking at the doors for 5 hours now, mom

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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Jamie stegman liked doodle alot. Yummy he thought to himself as it entered his mouth.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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What's more fun that being raped? Not being raped.

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Why was the white girl crying? Because she was sad.

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One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

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if your paddling a backwards canoe up a waterfall and it loses its wheel, how many pancakes does it take to fill a dog house? the answer is 17 because aliens are allgeric to cows and mustard.

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Leave. Now.

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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What Happens when you shoot a deer? It's Dead

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knock knock who's there? be. be who? *hits you with a batterang. BECAUSE ITS BATMAN

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A dyslexic man walks into a building labeled, Bra. He then thinks he has found heaven but is suprised when all that is served is beer, not milk.

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Justin Beiber sings. people don't listen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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