Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? If the man cannot climb down himself, perhaps call the fire department.

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What did the faggot say? Nothing, he shot himself due to high school bullying and rejecting parents.

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This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

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When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

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A bear walks into a bar. Animal control was contacted and the bar was evacuated.

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

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Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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Why couldn't the boy hide his penis? Circumcision.

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Hey connor and brett its ben, you are both at my house

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Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

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Roses are red Violets are... The poem was never finished due to the fact that the reader had narcolepsy and promptly fell asleep.

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what's worse than getting cancer.........nothing cancer is a pretty bad thing

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Roses are red, Violets are red, you are a liar, oh wait you're not!! MY BACKYARD'S ON FIRE

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A man had sex with his secretary. She was his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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