Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Gay republicans

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem about Red rosses and blue violets

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A white man and a black woman walk into a bar, they both fell in love and lived happily together until their 25 year old son had gotten in too a car crash Luckily their son lived

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happens if you Put a Mental Patient in a cage He goes crazy, Develops schizophrenia and Eventually dies of Many Incurable Diseases

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two eggs are in a frying pan. One egg says to the other, "Gee, it's getting hot in here!" The other one says, "Shit, a talking egg!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "why do you have a wheel in your pants?"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap? Because Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophiliac step-father.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Uh... You know them N words... When they come crashing into the neiborhood the neiborhood quality drops and gets totally destroyed youknow what im sayan? Uh yeah sure totally... Then you know they spread around smell up dirty and toxicify the whole area, they become so fat and loud and like take everything away from you. Yeah HEIL KKK!! WUUT? I was talking Aboot them Nukular warheds! You you... SOMETHING! Hey! Dont get offensive man, sorry I was just KIDDING!... yeah... KIDDIIING!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What has seven ears, four legs and two arms? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops