a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

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What happened to my sunglasses?

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What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

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why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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why was the black guy that was smoking weed in his car not sent to jail? when the cop pulled him over he thought he was black the way he was dancing but turned out to be white but that just looked black when hes dancing.

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Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

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jhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

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Why is meth so addicting? Why? Hang on, i gotta go do some meth

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What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A joke.

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What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

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A pirate walks into a doctors office with ship's wheel attached to his crotch. Pirate: "Arrrrrr, do ya accept Kaiser Permanente?" Doctor: "Yes, but there's a $20 co-pay."

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

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What do you call a police woman who shaves her pubes? PC Marion Jones

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courestaveesh garasow prau varadesh

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops