One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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What's worse than walking into a door by accident? Finding out that your mother molestors children.

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I had a quad when I was in high school, she was pretty but it was hard to get her out of the wheelchair.

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knock knock whose there banana banana who well, since a banana is a fruit and not human, it does not have parents and thus no last name was given to it.

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When life gives you cancer, make cancerade.

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How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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i need teepee for my bunghole! jlr

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justin Beiber is gay. what else is there to say...

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I have read the terms and conditions

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

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What do call a someone with no arms, legs, and has an eye patch? Names

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because I took a swing at it with a golf club.

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What's the difference between your wife and the kitchen? One is a living organism

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A seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops