Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

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what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

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You think I'm pretty without any makeup boy..... Let's bang.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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What's worse than taking a final? Getting shot in the face.

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Autism... is not funny at all, it is a serious issue in today's day and age and must be addressed and cured

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

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What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

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Why did Johnny fall down? Because I threw tropical fruit at him.

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21

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why did joe drop his clock? billy ran into him, therfore making the clock wobble in his hand until it fell at 34 mph.

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

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What did the old man say? Im old

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

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Two fish are sitting in a tank. One says, "I'll man the guns. You drive."

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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