why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

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joe diragi whacks off his dog

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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Turkeys are obese

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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I don't always browse the internet. But when i do i prefer Anti Joke.con

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

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Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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What do you call a man who only eats fast food? Unhealthy.

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash ... now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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