What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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Why couldn't the boy hide his penis? Circumcision.

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This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

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Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A bear walks into a bar. Animal control was contacted and the bar was evacuated.

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what's worse than getting cancer.........nothing cancer is a pretty bad thing

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Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

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Nuclear Bombs are bad. But erections are good.......as long as they are stroked

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A man had sex with his secretary. She was his wife.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock (who's there?) Not Sally.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, you are a liar, oh wait you're not!! MY BACKYARD'S ON FIRE

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A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

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Roses are red Violets are... The poem was never finished due to the fact that the reader had narcolepsy and promptly fell asleep.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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Whats worse than one jew. Ben rike

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What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

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Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Ouch.

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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