Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats funnier then a dead baby a dead baby dressed as a clown

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You know what's wrong with Oprah? Generally nothing. She's a well-respected African American woman who happens to be quite wealthy and likes to share her wealth with other people.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

YOU

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? None. While they were figuring out who to change the bulb the bulb lit a spark and the house caught fire. Everyone but one died. The black guy couldn't change the bulb because the bulb was lost in the fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happen when a penguin walks into a bar? That is an almost impossible occasion. Penguins first of all waddle not walk and they only live in Antarctica and zoos, therefor they will not be able to enter one unless Antarctica becomes populated.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Batman tell Robin when they got to Gotham City? -Robin, we got to Gotham City.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you call obama a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops