Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to go to heaven because his girlfriend Margaret was cooked into chicken sandwhiches, and he had no kids and he didn't want to marry someone else, so he tried to get ran over but no cars hit him so he cooked himself. AND so he became KFC-Style chicken wings. BUUUT since no one ate them, he grabbed them up from heaven and commented on how delicious he was and proceeded to eat more and then exploded, sending him to heaven's heaven. But it was just a dream. And Margaret had to do laundry some more today because he freaking caused a urine tsunami. You're welcome.

What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

Why didn't the Mexican have a job? Because stereotypes made employers unjustly reluctant to hire a hard-working, competent man.

why did the koala fall out of the tree? it was shot. why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one. why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought they were playing a game. why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? it thought it was a koala. why'd the man fall of his bike? it was hit by 3 koala's and a refrigerator.

how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

Why didn't the black man understand an anti-joke? Because like any other member of the human race, he expected a typical joke structure to occur, starting with a misleading introduction which then using surrealism or misguidance trails into a humorous punchline.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Roses are c0ck violets are vag this joke is for george i like it like that<3xxxx

The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

You know who else sucks dick? My aunt Jane. She was forced to become a prostitute after she got fired from her job.

Anti jokes are stupid Anti jokes are dumb I'm a pedophile, You better run.

A man driving through a thunderstorm said, "look, it's rain, dear." His wife, being a reindeer, took offense to that statement.

What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

What happened to the black jew? He went to college and died in a plane crash.

Put my shoes on the wrong feet. Don't matter, i'm gunna die anyway.

Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

fun fact for the day: 100% of people that drink water die sooner or later

(Timmy has no arms or legs.) A:Knockknock! B:Who's there? ANot Timmy

Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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