What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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How do you ask a blonde out to dinner? Politely

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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A guy gets murdered, because of the Reco act the whole gang he belongs to goes to jail as well. They cry in their beds

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Roses are red violets are blue Timmy what are doing with that gun?! Bang....

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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Everyone is different, but there are two of me, therefore I am unique. I have 72 different personalities, which all think, act and behave the same, all have my same name, but its still different to have such a thing eh? No I am not asking, I just added that weird little lightbulb symbol after "eh". People buy my book, its full of this nonsense... Its named "Are you left winged, or wrong winged" The book that has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with politicians non existent sexlife! (seriously I had a book signing today... It was weird, people like stood in line twenty Signatures... AND PEOPLE ARE ALL GOING "HEY ARE YOU THAT GUY FROM HORSEHEAD?" Nero -WHO THE FUCK! IS THAT GUY ON HORSEHEAD?

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Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

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Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

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What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

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Did you hear about the guy that told bad jokes? No.

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A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

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Why did the boy get teased? Because his name was spelt wrong (k)urtis

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Whats funnier then a dead baby? A lot of things.

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What happened to the boat that sank? Everyone on it died

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A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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