A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

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Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

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Roses are yellow Violets are carpet.. Get it...?

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How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

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What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

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I need a way to meet local babes and get ripped in 4 weeks. Shame there aren't any popularly advertised methods of doing that around here...

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josh sucks polish adams dick

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What do Whitney Houston and Selena Gomez have in common? They are both dead. Exept for Selena Gomez..

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Roses are blue vilotets are yellow, obviously I don't know this rhyme so well u have aids and will die of cancer at the age of 25, and so will ur mom

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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MR MR WHO?? MR MC CANN

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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the only people that will miss whitney huston are her drug dealer and possibly bobby brown

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

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Whats the difference between Amanda and Brittaney spears? Nothing, they are both worthless sluts

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Whats worse then 10 black men hanging from trees? Kittens

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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knock knock. Whos there? YELLOW PEOPLE

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What's more dangerous, a big rock or a small one? It doesn't matter. You can blame my mom for having me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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