What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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A. Ask me if I am a tree B. Are you a tree? A. No idiot

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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wat is osama bin ladin's favorite sport grenade catch

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

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a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

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A woman is carried out of a bar.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

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whats annoying and won't go away?. Aids.

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

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An elderly man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Dad!" The old man replies, "Hi son. I'll have a Bud Light." The bartender serves his dad a Bud Light and says, "I'm thinking about going back to school to become a doctor." The old man says, "I'm an alcoholic." The bartender replies, "Great, another Bud Light coming up!"

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What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

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Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

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Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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