roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

thumb_up thumb_down

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

thumb_up thumb_down -2

you know what they say... hydrate or die

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

thumb_up thumb_down -20

That's as gay as AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Joshua Brown was in a dark forest, with a misty haze surrounding him. He turned quickly and flicked his hair out of his face. Dylan Hodge appeared and they had wild sex all night!

thumb_up thumb_down +85

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops