roses are red pickles are green i like your legs and whats in between

How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

There was once a family of termites. There was a Papa termite, a Mama termite, and a baby termite, called Motor. One day they reached a big fat log, and they decided they'd bore through. So first went Papa. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Papa! Next came Mama. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Mama! Last came Motor. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out bored Motor!

knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

Why didn't the black man understand an anti-joke? Because like any other member of the human race, he expected a typical joke structure to occur, starting with a misleading introduction which then using surrealism or misguidance trails into a humorous punchline.

Put my shoes on the wrong feet. Don't matter, i'm gunna die anyway.

Anti jokes are stupid Anti jokes are dumb I'm a pedophile, You better run.

What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

A man driving through a thunderstorm said, "look, it's rain, dear." His wife, being a reindeer, took offense to that statement.

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What happened to the disabled man who went to Disneyland? He had a great time.

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

What happens when Helen Keller plays badminton? She doesn't win because she threw out her back playing Ultimate Frisbee the weekend prior.

(Timmy has no arms or legs.) A:Knockknock! B:Who's there? ANot Timmy

Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

You know who else sucks dick? My aunt Jane. She was forced to become a prostitute after she got fired from her job.

How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

What's worst then finding a worm in your apple??? Yo momma

fun fact for the day: 100% of people that drink water die sooner or later

What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

Roses are c0ck violets are vag this joke is for george i like it like that<3xxxx

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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