I called this hot girl up from class one day. She told me to come over because no one was home. I got to her house, and no one was home.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

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YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

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How can you tell two twin sisters apart? Look at one twin, then look at the other, and acknowledge that they are two different people.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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I told my grandmother to act her age.... she then died

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here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

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whats worse then falling out of a tree? Cancer.

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How did the conductor survive the Electric Chair? - He was a bad conducter

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What did the crowd do when a lion walked into the bar? Got up and left because they realized the potential danger of the situation.

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Why was the girl crying? She just got diagnosed with cancer you inconsiderate bastard.

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What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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How many christians does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows, by the time they finish unscrewing the burned out light, a hi-jacked plane crashes into them.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

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What do the Wii, PS3, and Xbox 360 all have in common? None of them will get you laid.

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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What did the Rasta man say when he got his dread stuckin the toilet ?

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Q what's worse than Tori's singing A absolutely nothing !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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