How do you tell if someone likes butter? You ask them

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

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How can you tell that the Filipino presidential candidate Grace Poe is an alien? From her extra set of retractable jaws and highly acidic body fluids.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I'm not creative Roses are Blue

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Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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ur an fagit

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Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What the difference between an apple and a pear One of them is red

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The Holocaust.

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Why did the black guy sing? Cause he can sdf sdfsd f sdf ds f sd fsd f sd f ds g sdfgh fsh sdf h dfsg dfs g df gdfgdf g d yeah thats right

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What's worse than being fat? Being gay

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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What's funnier than a Laffy Taffy joke? Almost anything.

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What do you call a baked bean falling from 10,000 feet? A baked bean

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Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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LAST COMMENT? DISGUSTIIIING! NO YOU TAKE IT!

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I kinda said I did not want to know, sooo... Want to meet up tomorrow? Like for realsies? In that case tell me first (then show me tomorrow as proof), your cough... Vagina, I dont care if its shaven or not, but does it have red hair?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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