Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

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this girl and guy were sitting on my couch turns out its my sister and her boyfriend and she just farted

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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Chris Bosh's neck

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Irish man English man and a Scottish man all in a plane they jump out then they land

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Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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A doctor rides in his Mercedes Benz through a rough, poor part of town. He sees a homeless person who is begging for money. The doctor stops and gets out of his car and asks "Ill give you some money if you need it for food". The homeless person then shoots and kills the doctor, takes his wallet, and buys crack.

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Yeah, I mean to be honest with you, I get that one a lot.

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Roses are shitty Violets are bitches I'm fat.

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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