When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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Whats big orange and likes to eat rocks? a big orange rock eater

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

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Whats black and hangs from my tree? A slave

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible.

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Brittany Spears is pregnant

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Hi.

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Yo mamma so fat We are all seriously concerned for her health

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops