A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

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What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

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why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

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roses are red violets are blue .no one cares about you, your a jew.

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why did the Jew not attend school ? because he was 27

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Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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poo

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What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

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What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

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Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

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How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

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Don't you hate when you finger your belly button and your nipples exploed?

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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why did the dog chase the cat? because the cat chased the dog first.

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Why did the police officer decide to eat a donut? Because he was slightly hungry, but a meal seemed too much for him.

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit halfway by a car.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's 10 + 3 x 22 ? Cake.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops