A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

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What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

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THE GAME.

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

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I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

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Q: What the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage

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Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

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Kony 2012 - Uganda Be Kidding Me

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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Why are anti-jokes funny? They are not because they have no punchline and if you wern't a complete dumbass you would have the ability to read the description on the right off the page.

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Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

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your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

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What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar she took the back seat

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by your great grandma

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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