whats the difference between G. Bush and a rock? Bush (bull)shits and rock doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man gets three wishes from a talking banana. His first wish is for a gay lover, his second wish is to have a naked grizzly bear, and his third is to become a professional tennis player. Soon after he got Aids from the Grizzly bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was Little Timmy crying ? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus. Knock-Knock! Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

thumb_up thumb_down -27

a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did we invade Afghanistan? Because we hate arabs.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the five-year old lying in the middle of the sidewalk? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

thumb_up thumb_down -29

a disabled man takes a walk in a park

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops