Roses are shitty Violets are bitches I'm fat.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

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Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

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A dyslexic man walks into a building labeled, Bra. He then thinks he has found heaven but is suprised when all that is served is beer, not milk.

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Yeah, I mean to be honest with you, I get that one a lot.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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In Soviet Russia..... the exact same thing happens, stupid.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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one day there was an ugly barnicle. he was SSSOOO ugly that everyone died the end -patrick

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

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Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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:D STORY TIME! :D ... :D So once upon a time there was a... :) Uhm... :\ I forgot... Sorry :(

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

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How do you make an elf sad? Murder his family.

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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