What is the best part about being in bed with twenty eight year olds? There are twenty of them

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Chuck Norris is dead......

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Shape like a book, have papers like a book, have a cover like a book, and could be read like a book. But it's not a book, what is it? A dictionary

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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Gay republicans

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There's a elf ,a peice of paper, and a pencil. What happens next? The elf writes on the paper.

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How did the man open the car? He opened in.

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i have read and agree to the terms of service

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A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "why do you have a wheel in your pants?"

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Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

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Christianity is not a religion; it's a relationship with God.

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Uh... You know them N words... When they come crashing into the neiborhood the neiborhood quality drops and gets totally destroyed youknow what im sayan? Uh yeah sure totally... Then you know they spread around smell up dirty and toxicify the whole area, they become so fat and loud and like take everything away from you. Yeah HEIL KKK!! WUUT? I was talking Aboot them Nukular warheds! You you... SOMETHING! Hey! Dont get offensive man, sorry I was just KIDDING!... yeah... KIDDIIING!

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Two eggs are in a frying pan. One egg says to the other, "Gee, it's getting hot in here!" The other one says, "Shit, a talking egg!!"

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A white man and a black woman walk into a bar, they both fell in love and lived happily together until their 25 year old son had gotten in too a car crash Luckily their son lived

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon.

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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What happens if you Put a Mental Patient in a cage He goes crazy, Develops schizophrenia and Eventually dies of Many Incurable Diseases

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Why did the boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap? Because Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophiliac step-father.

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The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops