What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why was the man walking in the kitchen? idk thats why i asked

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +30

"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

wanna hear a joke? yes

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Bob fall over? He was impaled by a narwhal. -BG

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me anytime you're free, but I can't guarantee I will answer because I could be at work.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops