What do you get when you cross Skyrim and Call of Duty? A video game that has similarities to Skyrim and Call of Duty.

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Why could the little girl not swim? She had rabies.

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How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

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What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

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Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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whats 2=2? gonorrhea.

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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Sex

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

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a jew walked into a bar-mitzvah

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Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

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Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I´ll give anything to be screw by you.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a person and one is an inanimate object

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Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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what happened when 3 had sex with 4? nothing numbers are not capable of sexual intercourse

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a group of teenagers are laughing at a boy around their age when on says "youre stupid" the boy then replies "i prefer the term Autistic"

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Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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