i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted off in space.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to a near by hospital where he is treated for a concussion.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

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Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

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hear hear

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? black people have more melanin in their skin causing it to pigment and turn black

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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