Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

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Whats Better Than an Anti Joke? sex...

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Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

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Hats better than a stick? A stone

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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Q: Guess what my Mom and Dad did last Night on the Kitchen Table.... A: Had Dinner.

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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