what do you call a Mexican driving a plane? a pilot you were probably to racist to work that out

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

thumb_up thumb_down +3

walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are violet, hence the name Violets.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open the presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

1+1=2

thumb_up thumb_down +3

there once was a teacher who wouldnt shut up she just rambled and rambled and rambled ,untill one day i brang a gun to school and shot her ,she doesnt rambled anymore and i dont go to school anymore =win for everyone

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops