A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

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I have aids

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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Horse.

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Guest what? Dog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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Roses are der Violets are eulb I am dyslexic

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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