What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

Good to see you today!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

Whats better than winning a Paralympic Gold Medal? Having Legs.

roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

whats black. an african american person

Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

-rick:hey wut happens wen i pull this pin -jerry:rick no!!!!! rick then starts to cry as he remembers the tragic accident that caused his friends death,which rick caused

How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can.

How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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