Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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What is Yellow and American? A yellow american

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An asian and white guy walk into a bar, the white man says to the asian "Do I know you from somewhere?" The asian says. "Yes, I used to go to college with you." The white man remebers him, and they catch up on life.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench A bench can support a family of five

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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So, theoretically, if we controlled the media, what would be different then?

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What do you get when you cross a rainbow with a unicorn, baby, helmet, a bag of sugar, some watermelons, and a jewish guy's hair? A rainbow unicorn baby helmet with a bag of sugar and some watermelons. and some jewish guy's hair.

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Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

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Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

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A man walks into a bar

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What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

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Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

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Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

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Yup, I mean we use all of your techniques and all things considered the messages end up looking pretty much the same, as if the same person had written them, Azure is named Carlos, and well, he is pretty much a computer wiz so you have nothing to worry about.

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I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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