How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

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Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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so a piece of grass is walking down the street..... wait a minute thats not right.

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The kid wakes up in the middle of the night to get some water. But over hears sounds from his parents room. he looks through the keyhole. Then he comtinues walking and says. "Why does mom say i cant suck things?"

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What's the difference between Stephani and a momma hippo? The mother hippo is slowly but surely losing weight while Stephani is packing on the pounds! :)

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes now you do too.

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Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

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A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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DON'T READ THIS!!! you suck.

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A man is sitting on his couch. The lights go out and his TV begins to float away. He breaks down into tears believing he has been cursed for a crime he commited earlier.

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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Why did the small child cry? He was forced to dig his own grave at gunpoint.

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What happen when a penguin walks into a bar? That is an almost impossible occasion. Penguins first of all waddle not walk and they only live in Antarctica and zoos, therefor they will not be able to enter one unless Antarctica becomes populated.

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Why did the black man go to prison? He was visiting his client to give him legal advice.

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WELL YOU ARE ALL A ROOF. So pie, my dearest Adam. Like a butthole.

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never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

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Roses are red, violets are blue! Damn, the florist messed up the colors again!

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Whats the difference between a cow and a sheep a cow goes baa and a sheep goes moo

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Why was the boy mentally retarded? Because his mother was a tree

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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