Why did Colussi miss school for 2 years? -Because he died

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What are the last words of a child dieing of cancer ? Nothing because he is to ill to speak

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do black men like bit butts? Because they can not lie.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I would have buttered my bread, but the pool was cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Tom: Did you here about the blond who went to college? Mike: No. Tom: Well I heard she's leading a very successful life.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red violets are blue pornhubs down your mums facebook will do.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Thanks superman! Oh this is just what a regular Clark Kent would do... Uh... I mean... Dont worry Superman I know you arent Clark Kent, I just wonder why you work for him all day... Moral: What? What moral? What what?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Well that explains a lot, thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the man start vacuuming his neighbor's floor? He had to get the GSR

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a quadriplegic person in the water? One should refer to them by their name, but seeing as a quadriplegic person would be incapable of swimming if you do see a quadriplegic person in a body of water you should seek help or call emergency services.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops