A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A ninja is walking down the street then he...finds a puppy a names him rex

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Refrigerator

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Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber where walking in New York . They both get ice cream... then bieber gets hit by a bus.

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Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whose. There? Not Susie.

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

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Q. whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I dont jump on my trampoline with metal cleats.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

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hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

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What did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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Vaginas are like? books. You stick your dick in them.

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A mexican and a black person are in the back of a car. Whos driving? A bus driver.

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Knock knock Who's there Bill Bill who? Bill Thompson

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

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Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

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Ben Corbishley

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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