Q. whats red and sits in a hairdressers? A. a baby getting its hair cut with a potato peeler

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Jeff: Did you know, someone called you an owl? Billy: Who?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

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- Why an Asian crossed the road? - Because he wanted to.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If You Bend Over Some More I'll Eat That Booty Too

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Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

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Where can I apply for janitor school?

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a kid was running across the street. he just got hit by a truck

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what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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Why was the little African child sad? He had recently been denied an education only 4 days after witnessing his mother being raped and cut in half by a machete. ....he also had aids. ......and was in Africa.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

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How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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Is a tomato a vegetable? Depends if it is comatose.

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What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

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What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? The bench can support a family.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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A man walks into a bar. -Can I ask where am I? - he sais -Yes, you can. - sais the barman Awkward silence occurs. -Why aren't you asking? I said you can.

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How do you fall off a building... JUMP.

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Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? He's blind. Also he is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops