What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

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Where do dinosaurs go on vacation? Dinosaurs are mainly extinct except for a select few such as crocodiles, which are arguably ancestors of dinosaurs. With this in mind, dinosaurs do not go on vacation because they are dead.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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what did the horse say to the other horse Neigh

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What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

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Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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The Awkward moment when the world doesn't end

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whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

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What did the cop say to the man arrested for speeding? You were going over the speed limit sir, I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that.

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What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

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What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because there were no cars coming

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what is the most confusing day in the ghetto fathers day

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

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Women's Rights.

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Q: What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A: A pilot, you racist.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Doctor" "Interrupting Doc-" "You have Cancer'

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When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops