why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

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How do you stop your golf ball from hitting a goose? You dont.

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What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

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Why did Amy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Amy

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What did the cow say to the other cow when the boy asked him for something to drink? Probably MOOO! Considering that cows cant say anything except for that

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It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

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Q:Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? A: Neither did she

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Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Whats the difference between harry potter and the Jews? Harry potter could escape the chambers.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas ....... An ashtray

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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What do u call a woman geometry teacher. Santains wife.

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A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

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Why did greg come to America? Because he wanted visit the states

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how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?................ we dont know because u cant c them

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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A man walks into a bar. A few hours later he walks out.

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Your mama so stupid, she put 2 quarters in her ears and said she was istening to Fiftycent

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm a bitch and so are u????????

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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