hello

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Your Mommy is a gas pump.

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What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

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A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

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I wish you were never born. Me too. Then I wouldn't have been raped today.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

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You might be a redneck if someone slaps you on the back of the neck.

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Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

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Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

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why did the boy fall of his bike He got shot in the face

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

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The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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Your Mum is soo fat.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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