Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

What has potential but is in fact disappointing? This joke.

Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

If John had 4 apples and gave 2 to Mary, what is the circumference of the sun?

Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

69

Q: Why did the guy ring the doorbell? A: Because he was sick of all the crappy knock-knock jokes

Why is Justin bieber gay? Because he is atracted to men

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

Why did the man wipe his bum with a sweat-shirt? Because they were all out of toilet paper

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

Why is there trees? Because they change color... Oh yeah and for oxygen by Burflared

Roses are red Violets are silly Grease up your flaps Cause here comes my willy!

joe diragi whacks off his dog

The name "Hunter Barksdale".

Colon Right Parentheses For all of the confused people out there that's :)

I couldn't decide whether to buy a pepperoni or a meat feast pizza? So i got neither and my two year old son died of starvation.

What's worse than a kid with a big head? Nothing you just look weird like Austin

how do you hurt sombody? cut off their legs.

I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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