So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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What do you call a blonde in a library? Lost

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

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Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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Chris is hairy

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hi i'm a dick, i mean mitt romney

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What is the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger

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Why did the baby bird have no friends? Because he chose not to socialize with the baby birds.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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Q: What are 4 consecutive fart's called? A: Fart's, unless someone gives them names?

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Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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I always used bra`s so I guess you know, nice I guess. Can you please stop it? I like know I am telling but my mind wont like accept it, and I would just like to shut off the laptop, but I want to keep chatting with you for just a bit more.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sarah!

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What do you call a low-fat banana? A nothing...

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Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

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What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

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What do you call a man who does not burst into tears after hearing that his mother has died? A person that has been desensitized by today's cruel world and society.

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Knock Knock! Whos there? Doctor! Doctor who? exactly.. how did you know?

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Equal rights!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops