Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the little girl die Because she was kidnapped by a rapist, and defiled repeatedly, and then to get a ransom from her family the kidnapper slowly pulled out her fingernails and toenails, and sent them to the family the same thing happened with her fingers, toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, tounge, hair, and eyes, then she died of blood loss after nearly 2 months of torture.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what if i told you that leonardo decaprio didnt need an oscar but an oscar needed a leonardo decaprio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(_)_)=============D

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what is black and green and red all over q: Nothing, you cant have 3 colors on the same surface

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Well Nero, my actual name is Axel Knight, I might have used your "moralman" identity as my own social experiment of sorts, I mean no offense, and if you will leave some contact information, I am sure we can arrive to some kind of settlement... ...Keep your identity crisis thing, I have absolutely no reason to continue communicating here, besides, its six million followers, actually more like seven...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call two grown Mexican men playing tennis? Two adults showcasing their talent in a friendly game of tennis.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the man fart? because he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

your mums so fat that shes HUGE!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What's worse than school? A:Your mum dying

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are blue Violets are red What happened to the gay man? He listened to Justin Beiber And then was straight

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's a black mans favorite thing to do Depends on that particular mans likes and interests

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You wanna hear a joke? Me too

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

pull my finger (farts)

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops