- Anti Joke

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

Rsoes aer rde, voiltes are bule, i have dyslexia. It's not funny.

What do a plane and a flight attendant have in common? They're both going somewhere in their careers. Aside from the flight attendant.

Why did my ex-husband get fired from the m&m factory? He was throwing away all the W's.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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Roses are red, yup.

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

What's a Democrat's favorite activity? Blaming Republicans for shit they didn't do.

How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

A narwhall walks into a store and asks the cashier where he keeps the soap products. The cashier does not speak english.

Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops