Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

Where did the duck hide its pail? UNDER THE STAIRS!!

Why did the car crash? The driver was female.

A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

whats white a smells like paint. whtie paint.

What kind of toy do you give to a dead baby? A death rattle.

What do you call a baby impaled on a stick? Lunch.

What do you call a man with no legs and no arms on your doorstep? Matt

i killed a blind guy when he wasnt looking

What do you call a fat priest? Obese

Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

How do you get a tissue to dance. You don't.

Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

Roses are red Violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

How much is that doggie in the window? $4.95 + Shipping&Handling

A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

A man walks into a grab and go restaurant and asks the man if he can stay, the man replies "yes."

What's Green and invisible? This cabbage --------------------------->>>>>

Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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