Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

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Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

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How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

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Superman vs Batman real fight: Batman: Hmm I believe that Superman might want to fight m*squish* Batman explodes in a bunch of meat as a blue and red blur is seen fly by. Extended Edition: Batman: Hah Superman I got kryptonite gloves so if you would just stand close to them for about five minute...*squish* Batsack of meat left we see nothing because Superman is FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET. They are probably gonna go like every fucking crossover, first they squabble and throw a few punches for five minutes, then they realize that the LAX LADDER LEX LUGER AND LEX LUTHOR brothers made up some fake story so sups and bts kill each other while they blow up the world, so Btz, and Soup end up beating them up... Moral: "PFF! BATMAN HAS BEATEN UP SUPERMAN AND THE HULK IN THOUSANDS OF SHlTTY NON CANON STORIES!" (In where the one with the Hulk described the hulk to have the instincts and combat skills of a "dumb, animal like confused ape" yes actual quote, Batman punched this confused green ape across a door and kept beating "The Hulk" up as he ran around in "animalistic fear and "rage" receiving random kicks by Batman, then Btz throws some capsule that turns into a fishbowl with no oxygen that chokes The Hulk (supposedly to death) in a few seconds... The Hulk can like hold his breath for YEARS in space, (but you know these lethal fishbowls)

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Yo momma's so fat, however, she takes pride in her size because every body is beautiful.

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Two fish are sitting in a tank. One says, "I'll man the guns. You drive."

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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Dude: Hey want to hear a joke? Other dude: What is it? Dude: Joke. Other dude: What? Dude: I don't know. That was a joke ladies an gentleman.

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Why was the black man running? Because he was playing capture the flag.

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How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

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- What would you say if you'll see a Mexican eating hamburger in fast-food restaurant? - Enjoy your meal.

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What's wet and pink and fun to watch in someone's face? A big bubble gum bubble exploding into someone's face.

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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What does the average fishermen catch Fish

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What's the difference between a tiger and a shark? One's a land mammal.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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