if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Q: Why did the boy eat an apple? A: A strong man stuffed it down his throat.

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

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Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An African American and Caucasian man painting a house with red paint and accidentally spilling some on themselves

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Friends are like trampolines, I always wanted a trampoline

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

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watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

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what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

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why ya gotta be so rude? cause i can

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A white man is running away from a black man. Because they are Playing tag. A gaming involving to touch the other person

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Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

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Why did the man take off his pants A: because they were uncomfortable to sit in

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

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what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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