Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? An opera singer singing in the shower

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Three baby seals walk into a club...

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Whats the difference between a black guy and Luke Skywalker? Luke met his real father

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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What has seven legs and cant walk? A paraplegic, and I lied about five of those legs.

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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Boob

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Why was the little boy sad Because he has depression from his father beating him over and over every time he comes home from school...

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A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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hey bruno ta quoi ds ta boite a lunch aujourdhui? DU SABLE CRISS DE POVRE!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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What's not funny? Today's anti-joke writers

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some kid told me pink dolphin clothiing was nigged, so i took an eraser , gave it to his sister and beat the poop out of hiis car ON A THURSDAY!!!!!!

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A nhiger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nhigers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nhiger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nhiger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nhiger go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nhiger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nhiger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nhiger ,smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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Tyler Bishop is a waffle

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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