What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

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What do you call a bunch of black guys on mars? a problem What do you call 1 million black guys on mars? a bigger problem What do you call all the black guys on mars? a solution

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What has 4 legs and cant walk? A paralyzed dog

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What's 9 + 10 19

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How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

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why did the little boy cry about his dog, it was hit by a train.

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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What did the gay black man say after JFK was shot? Wow thats really sad but I have such an appetite right now so i should probably go to eat.

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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feminism

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Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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