Chuck Norris is dead......

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Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

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What are three things an average teenager cannot live without? Oxygen, Food, and Water. Duh.

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What did the Rasta man say when he got his dread stuckin the toilet ?

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How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? A: Ow.

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I'm homeless.

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Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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Q: why did the boy fall down when he was walking home? A: he was murdered.

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What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, it's impossible to determine the motivations of an animal that is incapable of speech.

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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knock, knock Who's there? A social worker, we are taking your children into costody because your wife has reported you to the police for molesting them.

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Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

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A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops