Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

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roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

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A bear walks in a restaurant and asks for a table for one. Meanwhile, everyone else in the restaurant is freaking out because there is a bear in there

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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Why did lisa fall of her bike? Because her dad threw a refrigerator at her. -JCB

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whats the difference between a fat person and a skinny person ? there weight.

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Roses are red grass is green get on th bed and I'll fill you wilpth my cream ;)

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

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A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

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why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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GOODBYE

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911 jokes are just plane wrong

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

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The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

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Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops