What do you call a whale driving a plane? A horibble massacre.

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A bear walks into a bar. Animal control was contacted and the bar was evacuated.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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Hey connor and brett its ben, you are both at my house

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

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Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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What did the faggot say? Nothing, he shot himself due to high school bullying and rejecting parents.

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When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You don't

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What has 8 legs and 1 eye? 2 chairs and half a fish.

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what does lady gaga and a vacuum have in common? nothing. lady gaga is a human and the other is a house hold item.

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PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DON'T POST MESSAGE ON LIKE DIFFERENT VIDEO

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name one thing that is impossible!! A sober irishman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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