How are Lamborghinis and piles of dead babies alike? I don't have either in my garage. Except for the pile of dead babies.

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could walk into the mall and kill hundreds of innocent lives and leave thousands wounded.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

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Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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whats wrose than slipping on a banana? Getting Shot in the face.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

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no jokes left :( ill try to make some more the ones with nude in my comments is mine

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What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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