Why did the mum scream at the boy? Because he was being stupid

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Finding this website has distracted me and has taken up a large majority of my time.

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What's red, white and not blue. A Canadian flag

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Q: What are 4 consecutive fart's called? A: Fart's, unless someone gives them names?

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What do the Wii, PS3, and Xbox 360 all have in common? None of them will get you laid.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Max

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whats funnier than a black person dieing nothing that is so cruel

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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why was the little boy crying? he wasnt, he died 2 weeks ago

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A gay man watches football.

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how do u wake up lady gaga? poke her face

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mommy mommy! why are we pushing the car over the cliff?! the mom answers shhh youll wake your father...

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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What do you call a black person born in America? American.

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Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

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what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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What's green and has wheels? A frog in a wheelchair

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A blind child sign is at the end of my street. I have never seen the child, but at least if he were to come outside at the right time period i might be able to spot him, whereas he would having no way of returning the gesture.

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Yo momma soo fat, she got diabetes and died

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Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

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A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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